At least make sure they are 18
Why
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
