I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
