His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
