She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
