i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
