so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
