Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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