I skipped work to stalk him.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
