Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
