Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
