Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
