Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
