First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
