Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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