I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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