so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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