I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
