I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
