He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
