I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
