i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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