as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
