I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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