Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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