He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
