Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
