UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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