ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I came so hard my ears popped.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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