Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
