non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
