Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
