Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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