How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
