There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
