C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
