The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
