Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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