The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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