Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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