It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
