There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
