he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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