Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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