Welp...herpes.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
