Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
