yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize