i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
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We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
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His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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