you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
