you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
