I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
