left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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