Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
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