Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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