I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
stop calling my apartment porn island.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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