Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize
