I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
