I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize