Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
