He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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