I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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