Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She said her name was "party"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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