come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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